For me a few months after the initial birth, recovery, sleep deprivation starts to lift I find myself wondering what I will do when my maternity leave is up, whilst I am not wishing the time away quite the opposite in fact, It does make me think am I doing what’s best for my children and our family. How will we cope with x3 drop off’s and pick up’s in different places? for example.
Questions like should I not return to work, instead of paying extortionate amounts of money in childcare or should I find a more local job closer to home? These are all thoughts currently going round in my head. That I need to make sense of, Financially I still need to work and I love the satisfaction and sense of pride that comes with my job that I am currently on maternity leave from.
I know that I will definitely not being having any more children ( 3 for us is a great number and slightly scary! ) And the last pregnancy was truly difficult, with gestational diabetes ( insulin controlled ) Horrendous morning sickness and several other issues without wanting to bore anyone reading this!
I’m hoping that as time passes I’ll feel more comfortable with what my future holds work wise and so aware that they are only little for the tiniest amount of time so want to make the most of it whilst still bringing in an income. I know this is known as ‘Mum guilt’ and it really is.
At the end of my last maternity leave with my second daughter I volunteered on the maternity ward where I would end up having all of my children, It was a great experience. I was able to help support new mothers with nappy changes, making up bottles, attending to call bells and just general company if they were alone. Towards the end of the 3 months I was trusted to do several tasks which I really enjoyed and getting to know patients who had been in a little longer. This is a field I’m really passionate about since becoming a Mother and wonder if this is somewhere my future lies. The other question for me is juggling what would be shift work with my husbands day and occasional evening work. Sadly I had to give up the volunteering after 3 months because it was tricky juggling it with going back to work and my husbands work.
At this point, three months post the birth of my third baby, I am just going to enjoy him and my girls.